Friends with Benefits
by fatnakedkitten
Summary: Sometimes Percy Weasley hated his life. This was one of those times.
1. Chapter 1

Friends with Benefits

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, any of its books, movies or franchise, and don't claim to. Everything belongs to JK Rowling. I don't even own the title for this story; I got it from the movie that inspired it of the same title. The only thing I own is the plot, as sad as that is.

A/N: There just isn't enough Percy/Audrey out there. I finally decided to make my own. This story was inspired by the movie of the same name, as stated above. All I have to say about this story is to expect the unexpected. Even then you should probably expect something different. Got this idea from the story 'Weatherby the Spy', but it has nothing to do with it. Please read and review.

Prologue

It had been three years since the Second Wizarding War ended, and things had finally started looking on the bright side. In the Weasley family, the grapevine was buzzing with excitement.

Bill and Fleur had just given the announcement at Sunday dinner that they would be expecting the first grandchild to the family, Mrs. Weasley had been overjoyed and insisted on trying to force Fleur to gain at least another ten pounds before the night was through by badgering her to eat fourth and even fifth helpings of food. Fleur, surprising everyone, had complied without complaint. Only Bill knew it was because his wife considered this a right better reaction than the one they got when they had announced their engagement.

George had proposed to Angelina the Sunday before, while the two were visiting Fred's grave by their old make shift Quidditch pitch. Angelina, who had only just opened up her own Quidditch supplies store six months before, was not ready to make another huge commitment so soon. Needless to say, after much pleading and negotiating from George, she agreed to marry after she paid off the mortgage on her shop, which equated to a long engagement, much squealing and hugs and tears of joy from the other women, his Mum insisting she always knew Angelina would marry one of her twin boys, and a two on two game of Quidditch between Harry and Ginny against George and Angelina, that ended in a tie when they were called in for dinner.

Ron and Harry were doing exceptionally well as young Aurors, under the tutelage of Kingsly Shackelbolt himself, after Ron graduated at top of the class, surprising everyone, and Harry second. Ron was, of course, elated, as he thought that he was surely the last in class. Hermione, being the only one unsurprised said she knew Ron would do well, and that he seemed to have the same insecurities about things he was actually interested in as she did about her grades her entire schooling career. Harry was just happy to not be in the spotlight and let his best friend get all the attention, much like when Ron and Hermione were made Prefects, without all the negative comments, of course.

Hermione had been promoted a few months ago to assistant to the head of the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. She was now working under a witch who had much the same views as Hermione herself, and was keen to take S.P.E.W. national.

Ginny had just celebrated her first year as a member of the Hollyhead Harpies all woman Quidditch team. She had also found out from one of her teammates that she was the youngest player they had had in a century. Harry and Ginny celebrated this irony with a large bottle of Firewhiskey and a weekend long marathon of Muggle B-rate horror movies.

Just recently, Charlie had slipped over a Floo call home that he had managed to catch the attention of a certain Dragon breeder, on the same reserve as where he was taming them. Once he caught himself talking about her, he ended the call and hadn't called since. He was sure he would be teased mercilessly for it by his siblings once he came home for a visit.

Percy was to be married in one month's time to a lady he cared deeply for. Not only was said lady smart, pretty, funny, talented, sweet, caring, but she was also fawned over by his mother. She cooked, baked, and, if you asked him, made the best homemade pumpkin juice he had ever had the pleasure of tasting. She could hold an intelligent conversation with his going-to-be sister-in-law, Hermione, about the ever confusing subjects of Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. She could even hold her own in a political debate with his brothers, Bill and Charlie, his father and him all at the same time, and even make them see reason. Some of the times. She was also quite capable of keeping pace with his younger siblings, Harry, Hermione, and Angelina included, talk of Quidditch, WWW, or whatever they were discussing at the time. Even Fleur had taken a liking to her, he had no idea how it happened, but it did. Aside from all of that, Percy was fairly certain that his fiancée would likely achieve the title of Minister for Magic before he did.

Her name was Penelope Clearwater.

Sometimes Percy Weasley hated his life.

This was one of those times.

A/N: You all totally thought I was gonna make Audrey a Mary-Sue, didn't you? Admit it. This is a Percy/Audrey. Just not like the ones that already exist. Expect the unexpected for this story.

Review please.

-fnk


	2. Chapter 2

Friends with Benefits

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: See chapter one…

A/N: Thank you for the reviews!

_10 years ago… _

"Percy?" asked a blonde fourteen year old girl turning to her best friend of three years, the curly red headed boy with large horn rimmed glasses, Percy Weasley.

"Yes, Penny?" asked the red haired boy, turning to his best friend of three years, the long legged blonde girl with the sweetest face he had ever seen, Penelope Clearwater.

"What do you want to do when you leave here?" Penelope asked him, a curious look on her face. The two of them were sitting under a tree by the lake outside the walls of Hogwarts, shaded by the trees many bountifully bushy leaved branches, and, for once, they were reading for pleasure instead of academic purposes. It was the last full day they would spend together before leaving for the summer holidays.

"Do you mean this summer or after we graduate?" Percy asked for clarification.

"When we graduate, of course." Penelope said, rolling her eyes at him playfully.

"I don't really know, I haven't given it much thought, but I suppose I would like to become Minister for Magic one of these days. Of course, though, it wouldn't happen straight out of school, that would be mad. Can you imagine the kind of foolish git who would put a seventeen year old right straight out of school in charge of the entire Wizarding England? Do you have any idea how chaotic that would be?" Percy said in mock horror as Penelope covered her mouth to stifle her giggles at the thought of a seventeen year old Percy Weasley trying to run the entire Ministry. Percy even chuckled a bit at the thought, but the two broke off when they heard the all too familiar voices of Percy's twin brothers and Filch the Caretaker from above them in the castle courtyard.

"You can't catch us, you can't catch us!" They heard twelve year old Fred and George run amok, taunting a very annoyed Filch, with their partner in crime, Lee Jordan, laughing in the background.

"I'll skin you little monsters alive!" They heard Filch's gravelly voice fade into the castle and Fred and George chase Mrs. Norris down the corridors. Percy had tried to warn his little brothers that the battered old cat would likely eat them in their sleep if they weren't careful, but they had yet to believe him.

"Anyway," Penelope said, turning back to Percy as the twins' voices faded. "Since you won't become Minister straight away, what will you do in the meantime?"

"I guess I could go into the Ministry working in a department that will guarantee my success to Minister. Maybe the Law offices, or the Cooperation department, what is it? Department for International Magical Cooperation? Yes, that's it; I'll get a job there." Percy said with a curt nod. "Besides, I will already, most likely, be getting Prefect, so that's a good first step to being Minister, seeing as I'm already at the top of my class, I'm sure I'll get Head Boy, as well, just like my brother Bill." Percy said, beaming at the prospect of being like his eldest brother.

"Hey, Percy, what will you do about… marriage?" Penelope asked tentatively, pulling at the grass absentmindedly.

"Marriage?" Percy asked slightly taken aback with a look on his face that suggested she'd just grown an extra head.

"Yes, marriage, and children, Percy, don't you want to have a family of your own some day? A loving wife to cook you food and little Weasley children with red hair to greet you when you come home? Haven't you ever thought about stuff like that?" Penelope asked wearily, giving him an odd look.

"Well, I don't know…"Percy mumbled under his breath, picking at a loose thread on his hand-me-down robes.

"What is it, Percy? I won't tell anyone, I swear." Penelope said, sensing that Percy wanted to say something, but was apparently too embarrassed.

"Yes, I know you won't, but you'll think it's stupid, even I think it's stupid." Percy said quietly, and continued quickly before Penelope could say anything. "Well, you know those movies that you made me watch with you last summer? The ones about the guy and girl, who meet up in a coffee shop and it's love at first sight, and everything's going fine until the girl get's scared and breaks up with him, but he knows they're meant to be, so he chases her down to find her at a train station or somewhere, and he confesses his love for her, and they kiss, he takes her on a carriage ride and they live happily ever after. Sometimes I wish my life could be like a movie, just once." Percy said, blushing like mad at having revealed something so personal, even to his best friend. (A/N: Sorry, kids, but I couldn't put it any better. If you can, let me know and I'll fix it. –fnk)

"I don't think it's stupid, at all, actually. I think it's sweet, and genuine, and all those other happy cliché things that go along with such a revelation like yours." Penelope said with a small smile. She continued after Percy was quiet for a minute. "I'll tell you what, Percy, since I'm your best friend and all, I promise to do my absolute best to give you that big screen life you want, deal?" she said stood up, Percy standing with her, and held her hand out for him to shake.

"Penelope, what do you mean by that statement?" Percy asked, thoroughly confused, and eyed her hand with another of his odd looks.

"What I mean, is that if by, say, hmm… twenty-four you don't have a wife, and I don't have a husband, I'll marry you and have your kids and all that stuff that normal people do. What do you say to that, Mr. Weasley?" Penelope said, a sort of stubborn pride in her voice.

"Mr. Weasley is my father, and why twenty-four, anyway?" Percy asked suspiciously.

"Because, Percy Weasley, that will give us six years after we graduate for us to get married, get all our promotions, and see who gets to be Minister before the other. So you see?" Penelope said as if it were obvious.

"I think that'll suit me just fine, but we'll only be marrying as friends, right?" Percy asked.

"Well, yes, unless something more comes out of all of our plans, then so be it. Are we in agreeance?" Penelope said, her hand still held out to be shaken.

"I believe we are, but, as you say, should something come of our little friendly competition to see who gets to the finish line, Minister Position, then so be it. I will shake to that, Miss Clearwater." Percy said with renewed joy and competitiveness in his eyes. Then he glimpsed someone on the other side of the lake, ripping up something oddly like bread and tossing it to seemingly nothing but the ground. "Say, what is that student doing?" he asked, completely bewildered.

"Oh," Penelope said, unperturbed, after she recognized what was happening across the lake. "That's just a Hufflepuff girl, I think her name is 'Auburn', or 'Autumn', or 'Aubrey', or something with an 'Au-' in her name. She's just feeding the birds. I heard one of the girls in my house talking about her. Apparently she wants to be an owl breeder when she leaves here. She's in our year, but she's just weird, ignore her." Penelope said and began to collect her books that she had brought out, before she headed inside, calling for Percy to follow, to which he ignored, and opted to stay and watch the girl across the lake as she continued to feed and talk to the owls that flew down from the owlry to eat the food she was carrying until she herself went inside the castle when the set had set fully and it was getting too dark to see.

A/N: I know that wasn't too informative, but it's a little back story before we get into everything and all. And why Percy is marrying Penelope instead of Audrey. More on that last comment next chapter. Explained by the cast. Please review.

-fnk


End file.
